I'm
lying here tonight
Missing what I've never had:
Missing you.
I'm missing all the love
You will never give me:
It is given to another.
I have only my hopes,
My dreams,
And a few sweet moments with you.
Each unexpected meeting
Is a treasure to fill my heart
But rare.
I am easily satisfied, it seems,
With one brief glimpse of you to fill my day:
But my nights are empty.
There is a void in me
That only your love can fill
But never will.
Only love can bring so much joy
And so much pain when it is in vain.
Fair knight, I would be your squire,
Follow you on endless quests,
Serve you on bended knee,
And ask nothing in return.
I am denied even that
For a fairer damsel rides at your side.
I live only for the hope,
However slim,
That one day you will ride alone,
And I will follow until you take notice,
And make me yours.
I would destroy any barricades to your love
Save the one that means most to you:
The one you love.
For my love of you,
I must hold sacred your love of that other,
For breaking it would break you,
And breaking you would break me.
So I keep my place:
A dog at your feet,
Savoring the table scraps that are all I deserve,
As you and she feast on love.
But if you notice me there,
Look kindly on me, if not in love,
For I will take of you all I can:
I treasure the pebbles as others would diamonds
For the riches of love are beyond my reach.
Spring 1998