Monolog

COSTUME: Black jeans, Def Leppard t-shirt, black leather
jacket.
PROPS: Beer can, cigarette, microphone, clothes rack.
SET: Boxes to side for stage, boxes for couch/chair, dressing
room scenery and stage scenery, microphone and stand.
SPECIAL EFFECTS: Song playing at beginning and end; lights dim at
start, get brighter with the realization, fade as last song
fades.

[spotlight on "stage": rest of stage dim.]
[song "Poison" by Alice Cooper playing and being lip
synched.]

". . . Poison
I wanna love ya but I'd better not touch
I wanna hold you but my senses tell me to stop
I wanna kiss you but I want it too much
I wanna taste you but your lips are flavored with poison
Well I don't wanna break these chains
Poison, na no
Running deep inside my veins
Burning deep inside my veins
Poison
I don't wanna break these chains
Poison
I don't wanna break these chains . . ."

Thank you! [go off "stage" and into "dressing
room"] [sigh] Another day, another dollar. [go get beer off
of table] I just love the song "Poison." Alice Cooper
sang it originally. He's great! My favorite band is Def Leppard,
though. Steve Clark is my hero - or WAS my hero. He died a couple
years ago. I wanted to meet him some day. I guess now I can't.
[take drink] As a kid I dreamed of being just like him, to be in
a band, play the guitar. They say it was drugs that killed him.
That won't happen to me, though. I've got everything under
control. ["smoke" cigarette] I only drink and do drugs
because of all the pressure of being on the road. All the famous
bands do it too. Def Leppard, Alice Cooper, G and R, everyone.
And they're still around, right? I don't think it's the drugs
that kill you anyways, it's the stress from everyone nagging at
you, telling you NOT to do drugs. [laugh] [sigh] Ya know, it's
the fans I love. They love your music, they worship you, and they
want to be just like you. [go to take drink and then frown] They
want to be just like you. [lower beer can] If you take drugs,
they will too. I'm ruining my fans' lives! [hang head] That's it.
[lights get gradually brighter] No more booze, no more drugs. I
quit! [stand up] Hey, I know. I'll become an anti-drug activist.
I'll sing about how drugs ruin your life and all your friends'
and relatives' lives. [look to stage right] Five minutes? O.k.
[throw beer can] Good-bye to the old Steve Cooper and good
riddance! [look up while walking to stage right] Hey world! Get
high on life! Hugs not drugs! And, don't be stoopid! [said while
pointing at audience] [go "on stage"] [lights really
bright by now]

"Hey bro, take it slow
You ain't livin' in a video
You're flying low with a high velocity
No doubt, you're stressin' out
That ain't what rock 'n' roll's about
Get off that one way trip down lonely street
Now I know you've been kicked around
You ain't alone in this ugly town
You stick a needle in your arm
You bite the dust, you buy the farm
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey stoopid
What ya tryin' to do
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey stoopid
They win, you lose
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey stoopid . . ."

June 1992