The Amazing Technicolor Goldfish - Medieval Pick Up Lines

Suzanne's Top 24 Medieval Pick Up Lines

1. "Don't believe the rumours you heard about me . . . the Bubonic Plague didn't affect the important parts."

2. Nimue to Merlin: "I know a cave nearby that we can go to . . ."

3. The Medieval Scotsman's pick up line: "Come back to my place and I'll show ye what's under my kilt, lass."

4. Medieval comeback to a pick up line: "People get burned at the stake for doing things like that!"

5. "Why, I once speared ten of them with a single thrust!"

6. "My, that's an impressive weapon! Care for some target practice?"

7. The Damsel's pick up line: "You can rescue me any day!"

8. "They say I have the longest lance in the West."

9. The Wench's pick up line: "Park your steed in my stable, stranger."

10. The Prince's pick up line: "My rapier is longer than most knights' broadswords."

11. "Many damsels in distress have been saved by my sword."

12. "They call me the Dragon . . . want to find out why?"

13. Merlin's pick up line: "Come back to my cave."

14. The Damsel's pick up line: "I'm not wearing any chastity belt."

15. The Princess' pick up line: "Come search for treasure in my dungeon."

16. "Only you can tame my dragon."

17. "I'm a sword and you're my scabbard."

18. "It's like magic between us."

19. The Prince's pick up line: "Don't worry . . . if you kiss me I won't turn into a frog."

20. "Spend the night with this knight."

21. "They call me the Dragon . . . I can really make you hot!"

22. The Wizard's pick up line: "Let me cast my spell over you."

23. "Be my scabbard."

24. The King's pick up line: "I have a sharp point, and I don't mean the one on my crown."

New Additions by Suzanne:

1. "Wouldst thou joust with me? I may not have a lance, but I know of one form of jousting where only one opponent need use his lance."

By my friend Heather:

1. "Let me show you how a real man uses his sword."

2. "You know what they say about wizards with long noses . . ."

3. The Wench's pick up line: "Like a mare, I can be ridden for hours."

4. "They say a knight is always as hard as his armour."

Fall 1995